It takes more than a few weeks of dating for feelings such as these to be genuine. The con artist is telling you what he believes you want to hear to get something from you later. When you are dating someone new, take some time to observe him. Look directly at him during talks. People usually look down, blink or cover their mouth while lying.
Look at his body language too. Fidgeting is a bad sign. Keep in mind everything he says. That way, you will know if he promised you something and did not follow through. After the con artist has prepared you by showing her best side and by creating instant intimacy, be ready for the other shoe to drop.
She will invariably need money for something. She might tell you a story of her car breaking down, leaving her with no other way to get to work or take her children to school, for example.
Know The Red Flags Of A Conniving Online Con Artist
Con artists will keep asking for more and more, while you are getting nothing in return. Do not begin telling yourself lies that things will get better. Get out before you are taken. Becoming involved with a con artist will only lead to disaster for you. Laura Agadoni has been writing professionally since Her feature stories on area businesses, human interest and health and fitness appear in her local newspaper.
She has also written and edited for a grassroots outreach effort and has been published in "Clean Eating" magazine and in "Dimensions" magazine, a CUNA Mutual publication. Con artists reveal themselves--eventually. Meet Singles in your Area! Marcy has researched and taught university-level courses about ethics, sociopathic behaviors and other subjects.
This article was originally researched in , written in and subsequently published on this site. This one can be tricky - obviously, some legitimate military members are looking for romance. Check the rank on the uniform you can search online to match it , and ask them what rank they are. Ask them what they do for the military.
Search to see if their image matches someone else. If their writing sounds fake, it probably is a scammer. I was once contacted by a guy with four stars all 4-star generals are listed online , and he claimed to be a surgeon. I played dumb and asked what his rank was, and he said he was the "Surgeon General. I found the image of the real person and informed them, and Facebook eventually deleted the guy. To comment on this article, you must sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. This is true, ScamPolice - and the same goes for male profiles. You're right that some sites create fictitious profiles just to attract victims.
They'll use stock photos or photos of someone who doesn't know their image is being used and then create artificial lives. It's beyond evil for people to con their victims romantically as well as financially. A large number of female profile on dating sites are fake. Especially on smaller, less known sites. These website owners will often "make up" people that are very attractive so their site doesn't look empty. I really don't know if it real she keeps asking for more pictures is that bad I don't know. It feels to good to be true. So sorry if I've busted you, da real scammer.
Guess you'll have to find another way to earn money. Here's a tip, while you're spinning your wheels, look up the words Honesty, Integrity, Truth, Sincerity, and all related synonyms. Maybe they'll lead to a new career path. Hi, Renee - Depending on where you live, there are indeed laws about stalking. Do an Internet search for information on the definition in your state or country. You can start making regular complaints with specific details , to develop the trail of evidence. You might also contact a center for abused women to see what channels they're aware of. They may not be able to help you directly unless you're in immediate danger , but they should know applicable laws and resources.
Some things are not legally considered stalking, but some are. Oh, Pipercat, I am so sorry. I was also the victim of marriage fraud, and it's a devastating experience. You're in my prayers. The only options that come to mind are perhaps the ACLU American Civil Liberties Union , or perhaps help from a high-profile internship group at a major university. Seriously, I'd contact the top tier law professors - some might love taking on this issue.
That's how some death row cases have been overturned. Have you considered contacting or 60 Minutes? I guarantee that the government in NZ would not want the negative publicity. Best of luck - and let us know what happens. Take care of yourself, and don't hesitate to get some helpful counseling if it's available. I'm going through this now but it's worst BillyBuc - thanks, Dear Friend, for reading and for your kind comments! So glad you liked the hub. It's even more scary when you realize there are some entire cultures that have decided they're good places to scam people.
If you send money overseas, you will likely never get it back, even through legal channels, because there are few ways to track it after it's left the USA. Some sites even use religion to 'sell' their services by implying people will find the mate God picked for them. LoveDoctor - Many thanks for your kind remarks! I should check out your hubs; it sounds like you touch on similar topics! Hui - I'm so glad you recognized there were dangers or issues with honesty and backed away from unfortunate situations. It takes a lot of strength to say 'no' to something that seems to offer all you've ever wanted in life but that has red flags.
ChitragadaSharan - Thanks for reading, and for your comments! Yes, vigilant is a good word for it. Almost every week, we read about online scams of some sort, and our hearts are not immune to those scams. It is an eye opener for people interested in Online dating. While there are countless advantages of the Internet, it requires us to remain a little cautious and vigilant as well. A hot social issue in common life, and you make it as a great hub in details.
I believe that not few people can benefit from these knowledgeable information. I am totally against online dating, by the way. I used to have such chances and almost made it upon those impractical ideas from some romantic movies, but I blew them off at the last minute I pulled myself back to reality. Look beyond the photo before you take the bait. This is so true. Looks can be deceiving.
Signs You Are Dating a Con Artist
You couldn't have said it better. Great article and thorough warnings, etc but there are oh, so many date sites online now! I'm not sure some of our technology is even good for us anymore. Building cyber dating relationships over face to face interaction - I know it's just the way things are going, so I'm glad this article has been written to point out the numerous dangers of online dating scams. CyclingFitness - I had not heard of sites paying people to submit profiles I am not surprised, though.
I do think there are sites that look for 'marketable' people for various demographics, such as good-looking guys to attract women, or vice versa. Just another reason to avoid these sites, I think. Randy Godwin - Thanks so much for reading and commenting! You can call me Mary anytime you want to. Snakes count with me, and you're one of my favorites! I love your writing.
John Sarkis - Hi, John - I appreciate your votes and the share! Thanks for dropping by and reading! Cherry - You are indeed fortunate to have met someone worthy. I've seen the sick kid tricks, the 'widowed' guys who claim to have one son always eight-years-old, I noticed , and I know of men who were scammed by women with sickly grandparents. They're absolute masters at it, and they know how to build the scam slowly rather than jumping in and making it obvious.
Thanks for your comments here. Well I was into online dating 10 years ago and these are all the same red flags that were going on at that time. Wanting to instant chat with you especially on yahoo, having dead parents, or a deceased child. Seems nothing now had changed either. So glad I met my husband. A very thorough article which deserves to be HOTD! I'm very pleased this hub has been chosen as such.
One of the biggest cons I've found of online dating involves sites like Match. Thanks so much for your comments, Paradigmsearch, and for sharing the hub! I am honored it was selected for HOTD; there are so many great hubs on this site! Bobbi - I need to read your hub - it sounds like it covers some information mine doesn't address.
I like the idea of background checks. I am not sure how a site could verify the right person was being researched maybe they should get the NSA involved? I joined a few church sites, and there was no way to guarantee people were actually members of the church, so there were some really bad apples on it. This is very informative for the ones who do date online.
I have done hours of research about online dating sites as I did a hub on it. And, I also warned to never join a site that did not do background checks on the members and verify their information. And, I would even desire Drug Screening for the local sites. However, you have gone even further about the scams and the creeping evil fungi bottom-feeders who prey on trusting women and men.
This is great and I hope the ones who are looking online read this and keep this information to judge their online use and can learn to read between the lines. Thanks for reading the hub, and for your kind words! I'm sort of in the 'banned the sites for life' mode right now, but I have indeed met good friends of both genders on the sites I've visited.
Mixed feelings, I guess? Suzettenaples - As many others have said, there are some success stories on those sites. I think it's like driving a car; you have to know the road you're on, and recognize the dark alleys if you see one. Hope this information is helpful, if you do try the sites! Purpose Embraced - Thanks so much for your comments, and for passing along the information! Those who are in the dating mode do need to know what to avoid. I don't know how they find us there.
How to spot con artists
I do know that some people have fallen for people on the dating sites, and also on Facebook. How I wish there were a way to ban them from the entire Internet. Thanks for your comments! Congrats on the Hub of the Day! And this article will save a lot of people a lot of problems. In fact, I've even shared it. I recognize those messages you talked about at the beginning of your Hub.
I'm not on a dating site, but sometimes I get random messages like that on Facebook, in my "other messages" section. This is a great hub. It is well written with a lot of relevant information. I am not in the dating game, but will surely pass it on to others who will find it useful. Thanks for sharing an excellent hub.
I enjoyed reading this and you give some excellent advice and tips for the lovelorn. I have been hesitant to use any of these dating web-sites. I know there have been some successes, but to weed out all the jerks takes so much time and effort. You have covered it all in the scam department. Excellent advice and tips Marcy! I have a few friends who used online dating. Some are happily married, some have banned the sites from their lives.
I hope I never need to use them. Congrats on the HOTD! Hi, Patrick - I'm not sure if you mean you're shocked at her knowing your name, or that there was a response that met your request. If the picture includes a woman, and if she's part of a scamming operation, what probably happened was that whomever rubs the scam has women he can use for photo ops.
If you had not revealed your name, that would indeed be creepy. It's possible she or they could have gotten your name from a social site or picked it together somehow from other information. If you're on IM, I have heard but not verified that people can hack into your computer that way. I'm not sure that's the case we would hear people screaming about it , but since hackers can even install webcam software and operate it remotely, just about anything can happen.
If you feel these are scammers, get as much of their information as possible and report them to every possible agency. I have a situation she is a beautiful woman from Ghana. I am sure she is scammer but was shocked today I asked to write my name on a large piece of paper and send me a picture and she did it. Well, it sure walks like a duck and quacks like a duck. I think you dodged a bullet, Roniti - glad you spotted his true colors.
Thanks, Oldiesmusic - the con artists who do it regularly are pros at it. They learn new techniques each time they con someone, so their energy is spent in perfecting their lies. I'm glad you found useful information here, and I hope you never meet one of these creeps in person. I almost fell into the trap of honey by email Thanks for answering my calls.. I missed you so much..
Roniti, why I called you I was having some little issue, Because my Business visa, has expired, that was the reason why I called you.. Roniti, I need some few token of your helped.. Kindly give me your urgent response.. After I read this hub and the stories of the commentors And some of them cite that they work and travel in Africa. Now I know their style. Thanks for your warnings. I sometimes chat with a lot of guys, flirt with them, but there's nothing serious so far. Now I have to be cautious. Thanks for those insights, Alexander! I like your move of letting them know you're onto the Ghana thing.
I have also seen people who claim to not drink or smoke, and their pictures show otherwise. I guess the scammers don't filter their material very well? One more funny thing. I noticed some irregularities such as they say "I never drink alcohol" and in a profile pic they have a glass of wine. Too funny, sometimes if I'm bored I'll thoroughly waste their time, and lead them on. I have become quite adept at knowing who they are. I have actually put in my profile info "If you are from Ghana, I am not your fool!
Do not waste my time, nor yours. Oh, gosh - yes, that has all the earmarks of the scammers. They are always temporarily working in another country, and usually it's Africa. The reason they reveal that right away is so it won't come as a surprise when there's an 'emergency' and they need money. Or when their fake son, mother, grandparent whatever needs an operation. Or when they claim they need money for a ticket to come and see you.
His claim of only recently moving to your area is so there won't be a way to check him out locally. These people are beyond dishonest - really awful. If there's some way to get his IP info or whatever, you could perhaps report him to federal agencies. Be sure to report him to the dating site and get him banned. And do not IM with anyone like that. I've heard they can hack into computers from that, but I'm not sure. As for the flowery poems, I'm sure he's sent those to many women. I think I am being scammed from someone who I met on a local dating site.
Said he lived about 30 minutes away. He also wants to chat on yahoo messenger. He hasn't asked for money yet. I almost want to toy with him but it wouldn't be fair to him. So does't really answer questions I ask him about that area. Thought I would share. Hi, Marion - I sure relate to what your mom is experiencing. There are some organized scam operations on most dating sites, and they're getting better every year at sounding normal and honest. I'll send up some prayers for your mother to spot the bad apples and to find the jewels who are out there.
I love how you approached this from both sides to equip and protect as many people as possible. My Mom just entered the dating field after being divorced from her 25 year marriage and she's been complaining a lot about scams she's running into. From what she hears from friends, who were scammed with rebound marriages, she's also going to insist on a prenup if she marries again. Scary online dating world out there.
Hope I can keep my marriage together so I don't find myself in it. Tattuwrun - you came so close to getting scammed! Thank you, so much, for posting this first-person account of how these guys operate. This is exactly the type of con artist this article discusses, and having a 'real life' example is so helpful. I'm so, so glad you recognized what was going on before it hurt you - either financially or emotionally.
I remember having "dated" someone I never even met yet -- and gladly I didn't. While managing my account at a social media site, I received a private message from a guy and introduced himself. I looked at his profile pic -- the guy looked ruggedly handsome, at least on that photo. And after that he would send me more PM's, and his words were becoming more romantic, flowery and passionate.
He said he would satisfy my needs sexually, emotionally and financially -- and that he's living a comfortable life, does travelling as a hobby. He even recounted his past "tragedies" such as how his parents died in an accident that left him as an orphan, you know, those kind of sob stories. He would call me up almost every morning. I wasn't quite falling for him yet but I found him charming.
He said he would be ready to fly very soon to my country and visit me. He even said he was going to marry me, and buy a ring for me.
Online Dating Cons and Scams | PairedLife
I just went with the flow, though I was starting to like him very much I just had to see how it would go. Until one time he PM'd me. He said he was in "Africa" for a "stopover", but he added that he was detained because he lacked certain documents in order for to get himself bailed. And you know what? He said the authorities also needed money, and he said he didn't have anymore to pay them. So he was asking me for money, I said I didn't have much of that to save him. He insisted that I ask my friends and officemates for money -- even a check or a voucher, etc.
He was more persistent in sending me mails about the "bail money". All the romantic talk faded. At first I was genuinely worried about his so-called suffering. Hey, wait a minute I realized that this guy was about to con me. So I replied to his offline messages and started taunting at him for days. He didn't reply to my messages and never bothered me again.
I'm also glad you publish this hub, so that people will never be victims of this scam. Voted up and useful. Hi, AmandaJon - it's great to hear a success story! Naturally, many of us know of happy couples who met online and later married. It's the con artists who make things difficult for people, though, which is what is being addressed here. Thanks for dropping by and commenting! Great hub, very useful tips! This is so sad that people manipulate other people's emotions to get money from them, this is outrageous! But I have met my husband online 5 years ago, we still together and very happy.
So for joining a dating site was one othe the best decisions in my life. Don't let those con artist stop you from finding a date online, be careful and keep looking, Good luck! Wow - thanks for sharing this real-life experience - and good job in spotting the signs before you got defrauded. How I wish these people would be caught and prosecuted. I have just become a victim of this, however, i realise that things weren't right when he claimed his 6 year old son had been hit by a motorcycle and was in hospital with injuries he couldn't pay for.
I strung him along for the rest of the time. Even told him i was on the next flight with money to help. Eventually, i fronted him about it and first he denied it, then admitted it. I was actually trying to get details from him about who the guy he was posing as, who the pictures were of, have tried various sites to reverse search the pics myself and cannot find him, only one site in oregon might have one pic.
Lessons learnt, this site is very accurate. He was a man with a business working abroad, with a 6 year old son, claiming to live in London, when he was running everything from Nigeria. Hi, Dancingpopes - thanks for your very informative comment here. I think many women and some men would like a place where they could 'blacklist' the bad apples. It's very true that being scammed out of your emotions is a painful experience - and it takes a long time to recover.
If we could figure out what makes some people approach relationships with dishonestly, we would get rich! I wish a site could be created listing the names of men and women from these sites like POF and MATCH who claim they want a relationship and tell you how great you are, etc, but JUST want sex, or tell you how great you are, meet you, and pretend to like you because they think you have money, only to find out you don't and suddenly they're gone.
That would border on slander, I'm sure, and some people would list names out of spite, but wouldn't it be great in a perfect world if there could be a list of these people to check. I've never been scammed out of money, I've been scammed of my feelings.
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Why must they go through the bulls of telling you how wonderful you are, what great chemistry you have, and what a great team you'd make? I'm so sorry you went through that, Jan - I know of others who have been conned, and it hurts on so many levels. How I wish there were easier ways to spot these jerks. Good information, I wish I had read this before I gave my money to a con artist. He had my heart now I'm hurt and not trusting. He talked to me for hours months m Im and phone lie after lie protect yourself. I no longer will use dating sites. Hi, Graham - thanks for your kind words of support!
It's very sad to see the increasing instances of dating scams every year. Many of them are cottage industries in Third-World countries where groups of people troll websites dating or otherwise and send enticing messages. I guess the odds work in their favor, when they generate thousands of contacts but finally get big money when they pull someone into their net. Congratulations on this wonderful hub. It is so informative and helpful. I don't need the services of these websites but a person who might, would do so well to read and absorb your efforts. Hi, HubbinNubbin - I don't personally have info on foreign sites - but I do know there are plenty of scammers who use sites based in the US but they live in other countries.
This might be a good topic for either the Answers section on this site, or the Forum. Good luck - and be careful! As my German is still much desired for, it has been a long journey for me to decide what is real and what is not. I was wondering if you guys have any tips in recognizing foreign online dating page scams?
Like the technicalities, without having to know the language well? Example of one of the pages I have found: I am just starting out as a blogger by the way, if you guys have any tips or advice, contact me - I am always looking for new friends: Hi, Becky - that's a really great question - the only thing I can figure is that they find photos online, or scan good-quality magazine shots and use those.
I've seen photos that were definitely part of a male model's portfolio. They will stoop to anything to get someone's attention and hook them in. Hi, Stephen - that is so true; those sites are money-makers.
Now I am hearing of people trying to scam others on this site by contacting them personally about relationships or money. And, I just got a message from a stranger on LinkedIn that sounded all too fishy. Dating sites are actually all over the net. Individuals must not be too desperate to find a date. Tips mentioned in your hub are a great help! Thanks for sharing it for everyone's benefit. I agree, MsKrysma - the hurts from these predators last for years. It is the worst form of deception.
Thanks so much for reading and commenting - I look forward to your hubs! It's sad and very wrong for con artists to hurt others who are just looking for love. I hope people recongnize the signs that someone is not right for them beofre they do get hurt. All's good here, sweet Marcy -- and we totally agree -- the con artists are not only another breed they're downright scary. Hi, Sis - it's good to see you! Thanks for reading and commenting here. I've been on a few sites, too, which is how I was able to research this hub.
There are indeed people of both genders looking for money and a caretaker they generally want marriage, in order to get the caretaker benefits. The con artists are yet another breed - they're only out to scam people, right from the start. Either way, it's discouraging to sift through all that in the hopes of finding the diamond amongst the lumps of coal. Great work and research,Marcy. I tried a couple of dating sites years ago just for fun. Found there's a lot of guys looking for women my age -- they need a nurse or a purse and I wasn't available for either. Hi, Alocsin - what a great tip about identifying photos!
You always have the best information about the ins and outs of Internet use - thanks for sharing this! I think in matters of the heart, people aren't so wary as they should be. These tips should be very helpful. As for the fake photo, if you drag a photo from a website into Google Images, it'll will show you where the photo is from.
Voting this Up and Useful. Thanks so much for your comment here, adjkp - I'm glad you never had to be exposed to this type of thing. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I'm so thankful that I met my wife young and didn't go the online dating route. I have heard about people falsifying their profiles but, after reading this, there is so much more for people to be aware of.
Thanks for your comment here, Margie - and I am so sorry your girlfriend has run into those issues. It is disheartening to see what happens in the name of dating. Thanks for reading and sharing!